


The Darkest Fairytale (Loki/Reader)

by shamelessloki



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Asgard, F/M, Loki Feels, Loki Imagine, Loki-centric, Post-Thor: The Dark World, Reader-Insert, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-10-27
Packaged: 2018-08-27 08:10:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8393863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shamelessloki/pseuds/shamelessloki
Summary: The reader is Loki's wife, Princess of Asgard and this is a short story about what it is like to see someone else than just a villain.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am warning you, this is sad and angsty.

“Nothing lasts forever, not even sorrow. There will always be a hole in our hearts, but the worst pain will fade away in time and one day you’ll be again able to remember him, without feeling like dying too. You can’t do anything for Loki anymore, but you can do something for yourself: get up and live.”  
Queen Frigga’s words still sounded alive inside your head, especially when you were lying on your bed, lost inside your grief. Frigga was the only one, who truly get you on your feet again, back then when Loki fell off the bridge and ‘died’. Even after Thor told you it was Loki’s choice to die. But she is not here to help now. This time Loki died a hero, avenging his mother’s murder. Despite of this, you and Thor seemed to be the only ones to actually mourn his death. Everyone saw a villain, you saw a ghost of someone Loki could be. You would like to tell a story about a prince finally finding his happiness, but that’s not how it happened. Hell, even telling a story about villain getting what he deserved would be a lot easier but no.. this was a story about a man who lost himself to darkness. And no one knows this story better than you.  
You were both so young and madly in love back then, when you got married just a few months before Thor’s ruined coronation. On which this all probably started. These events - Thor’s anger, journey to Jotunheim - all of this gradually lead to revelation of a secret, the king and queen kept about Loki. You were shocked but you had no problem with Loki being a frost giant - he did. And from there, everything started breaking down. You had to watch Loki failing to accept himself, you watched him losing control over his own enviousness and how his feelings and beliefs became overshadowed by his hunger for power. You watched the man you loved falling apart. And you believed there is no worse feeling.  
But then Loki decided that nothing is holding him back anymore and chose to die. And you found out that there is a worse feeling - to lose someone you love, because you were not able to help them.  
Countless times, you asked yourself if it can be your fault, if you could do more, why you were not enough for him. Had there not been the Queen’s help, you would never be yourself again.  
But after a while, when you finally started to think that maybe, maybe you’re getting better, Loki appeared on Midgard, pretty much alive. And for a few moments, you didn’t care about him killing people and probably becoming someone completely else - he was alive.  
Then you were angry. For what he had done on Midgard, for not saying a single word to you, for wanting to ruin people’s lives rather than coming home. But when you finally wrapped your arms around his neck, and touched his chained hands after he returned to Asgard as a prisoner, none of it mattered anymore. Because his scent was the same as before, his eyes were bright like usually and his now longer hair still darker than midnight. And then when he whispered “I missed you so much” into your ear, even though he couldn’t hug you back, nothing mattered more than him being back. You knew it was wrong to think this way, because Loki became a cruel, dangerous, cold-blooded killer and probably a few worse things but you couldn’t help yourself. And this - his voice and his words at that moment - this was a proof that he didn’t make a thick line behind your shared years, like you feared. This meant you could still may be able to get through the darkest parts of his world. This meant he was willing to let you try.  
Even though Loki was condemned to spend the rest of his life in a cell, with his mother’s help, you gradually managed to get closer to him again. Somewhere around this time, you kind of earned Allfather’s disapproval. You’ve been visiting Loki in secret of course, but the King never really liked the fact that you refused to leave Loki’s side, no matter what.  
Loki changed a lot and it was far harder to predict his reactions but everything seemed to be slowly getting better. Until that one day, when dark elves attacked on Asgard and Queen Frigga died. That was like a punch right in the face. Not only you had to handle the death of someone who was like your second mother, with Loki it was like one big deja vu. He lost himself in a sorrow and guilt. At least, this time you were there and tried to share his grief even though he refused and kept sending you away.  
Then Thor came with his plan on getting revenge. And you knew, you could swear you knew that something horrible was about to happen.  
Something worse than last time when revenge lead them to Jotunheim. But at least, you’ve got an opportunity to enjoy his company for a while, he was joking and smiling a lot. You knew that not being imprisoned, he would already feel better, but Allfather was relentless about this. You still felt his kiss on your lips and second one on your cheek when you watched them flying away. They left and Loki never came back.  
You were there, when one of the guards announced to Odin they found Loki’s body. _No. Not again._ You noticed the guard looking at you like he was really sorry he had to say it in front of you. You didn’t care about his compassion.  
And now here you are, on the same place as once before. Without him. Again. It really was a one big, sick, deja vu. Except for, this time Thor planned to live on Midgard and Frigga was gone, so you were absolutely, desperately alone.   
You got up from bed, only to start nervously walking around like it could help. And when you turned over, Loki was standing near the balcony. He had bright eyes and a wind played a little with his hair still reminding you of raven feathers. A truly detailed hallucination. But when you blinked several times, he should’ve disappeared, right?  
“Y/N.”  
The sound was familiar. So familiar, you came back to reality and carefully stepped closer. Loki repeated your name again and you raised your hand to touch his shoulder and then his cheek, he didn’t even seem to be injured.  
“You’re real.”  
“I am.”  
And then everything hit you all at once. He was real. Everything else was fake. Including his dead body. All of your emotions suddenly disappeared, anger being the only one remaining. You stepped back and in one moment you slapped his face. Hard. Very hard. You could tell that from the way your hand burned a few seconds later. And this obviously wasn’t what he expected.  
“You lied to me.”  
“I did-”  
“You left me!”  
“Yes, I did-”  
“You said you loved me!” you yelled at him, losing the last bit of patience. You sounded more hurt than you would like to and it made him answer more gently: “I do.”  
“Oh how funny making people you love believe you’re gone! Well done!”  
“Y/N, you don’t even know what happened,” he sounded tired but patient and somehow he managed to make you even more angry.  
“I would know, not having you playing around and pretending to be dead! _Again!_ ” you yelled once more and you breathed in, ready to continue because you surely as hell had a whole speech, but suddenly Loki’s hand was on your mouth and you fought the urge to kick him somewhere.  
“Would you stop yelling? Thor doesn’t know, where is he anyway?”  
“I don’t know but he is leaving,” you replied harshly when he let you speak, “he is planning to tell Allfather tomorrow.”  
“Allfather won’t hear him unfortunately but I will make dear brother believe otherwise,” he smirked a little, in that very Loki way and you frowned. His hand around your waist and his closeness itself were too distracting.  
“What have you done?” you whispered, quite sure you didn’t actually want to hear his answer.  
“Everything to make you a queen.”  
Loki kissed your neck, on that very right spot, but it wasn’t enough for you to stop worry.  
“All I want is you,” you replied quietly and he kissed your ear.  
“And you have me. On a throne.” His lips pressed on your cheek and you shut your eyes, melted but frustrated.  
“But you are going to get us both killed on the way.”  
“We both know I wouldn’t let that happen.” He gently pushed you closer to bed.  
“Loki-” you protested.  
“Y/N.”  
Then his lips finally met yours, probably in the last attempt to keep you quiet. And like always you let him take away all your worries, literally cutting it all out of your mind. But an hour later, when you gently touched the pale skin on his naked shoulder while he fell asleep lying on his back, you knew for sure, that Loki isn’t going to stop, that this will slowly but surely lead to a catastrophe and your fairytale isn’t going to end happily. But you also knew that no force in the universe could take you from his side. Because no matter what would happen, no matter the amount of danger, it was worth it. He will always be worth it. 


End file.
